The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot

Today I had a very productive discussion with my Tutor over my final practical. I have the root of my idea and I even have a pretty satisfying way of both starting and ending it. I've got to say I'm really exited about this. People I've told my ideas to have seemed pretty interested and I've had a few people to offer to help me rehearse when it comes to that stage. Rehearsing a monologue on your own is hard enough but when you're going to be essentially in dialogue with a pre-recorded version of yourself it becomes even harder.

I'm equally terrified about it also. I'm going to be exposing some pretty intense shit, some of which I'm not sure I'm really ready to face. To most people watching it they probably won't get the things I'm referencing as they are incredibly personal. Demons that have haunted me for a very long time. Why is memory so fallible. Why do we lie about our pasts? Whether we realise it or not. Why do we hide ourselves from the truth? Honesty has always been my policy. I see no reason to beat around the bush, I've never seen the productivity in such actions to the contrary. But sometimes I lie to myself.

Current beginning

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Lights up on stage. There are two door-frames. One stage left and one stage right. in the centre of the stage is a bed. Up stage of the stage left door-frame is a small table with one glass, a bottle of whisky and a diary. After ten seconds figure enters from up stage centre. Walks towards bed. Removes coat and tosses it on bed. Breathes in deeply for five seconds. Walks over to small table. Pours generous measure of scotch into glass and drinks quickly. Places glass on table. Picks up diary. Smiles. Returns to bed and sits cross legged in the middle. Opens diary in the middle. Smiles. Looks straight outwards. Speaks.

Figure: "Back again."

Voice (V.O., same actor as figure): "I never left."

Figure: "I guess not. Do you remember...?"

Current ending

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Figure: "Which door is it? Which fucking door?"

Voice: "You know which door, you've always known which door. You never were able to live up to your own high standards. The boundaries and expectations you lay at others you could never attain yourself. You made the decision a long time ago... never forget that."

Figure smiles weakly. Giggles. Looks straight outwards.

Figure: "I guess... I guess I won't be needing my coat then. Shame it had to end this way... had much more to say... much more to do. Who knew?"

Figure stands gingerly. Breathes deeply inwards for five seconds. Exits stage left door.

Voice: "Call me a safe bet, I'm betting I'm not. I'm glad that you can forgive, only hoping as time goes, you... can... forget."

Ten seconds. Blackout.

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Also quite like the idea at some point of when Figure is off on a tangent that Voice might say something along the lines of "If you are desperate to check facebook or twitter now's the time to do it... he's going to be like this for a while". Unfortunately because I only have ten minutes to work with it I might have to leave that out. Maybe if I ever extend it and take it to Edinburgh... LOL