Tuesday, 7 July 2009

I love

http://textsfromlastnight.com/ ... brilliant

"(817): After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot."

"(206): Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is."

"(907): I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are."

"(423): Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now."

"(617): i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
(508): i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me."

"(407): you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
(1-407): probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine"

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